Stick to your indecision, I told her.
Now’s the time to hold fast to impermanence . . .
Is it not by God’s high superfluousness we know
Our God? For to be equal a need
Is natural, animal, mineral: but to fling
Rainbows over the rain
And beauty above the moon, and secret rainbows
On the domes of deep sea-shells,
And make the necessary embrace of breeding
Beautiful also as fire,
Not even the weeds to multiply without blossom
Nor the birds without music:
There is the great humaneness at the heart of things,
The extravagant kindness, the fountain
Humanity can understand, and would flow likewise
If power and desire were perch-mates
(thank you, B)
But you already have changed the world
don’t you see?
The young Japanese mother
struggling with her stroller,
so many thoughtless people,
I stopped to let her pass
and, for some reason, bowed.
When she bowed back
everything fell apart.
I found myself wandering among the crowd
falling in love with someone I didn’t know.
It wasn’t her.
I’m in love with everyone now.
~ Robb Astor, Dear (Dunes Review, Volume 19)
After Kit’s graduation party was over yesterday, everyone chipped in and put everything away. Weeks of preparation–the heavenly aroma of summer grilling, naan griddling, and mango tea steeping–and the lovely vases of wildflowers dressing every table covered in a vintage cloth, old church chairs all around . . . and then only the balloons were left . . . what did I want done with them, they asked.
Nothing. Leave them right there. Forever.
This is my Kit in the finale of her fine arts high school “Informance” this week. She has a few more classes next week, but then it’s over, wow . . . that’s a wrap on her senior year. The look on her face says everything she is feeling about launching forth into her life.
I want to go with her. I don’t want to miss anything. But I must stay back and watch because I must . . . the same way I would if I had raised a unicorn and was setting it free in a forest.