Complaining Laudly

Thank you, Julius, Alastair, Sabina, and the Peckish Kiwi, for thinking my blog is Versatile, loquacious and worth Shining On. I’ve been trying to come up with an award-winning response worthy of the honor of your attention.

Well, I got nothing… save for a few dishonorable mentions:

1. I have self-diagnosed dyscalculia, but compensate as much as possible with good spelling.

2. I still like Ramen noodles, even after surviving on a steady diet of them in college when I was so poor all I could afford to eat with them was “Mock Bologna Loaf.” I do not even wish to speculate on what doesn’t qualify as real bologna.

3. On two occasions, I’ve successfully cried my way out of a speeding ticket. I am both proud and ashamed of this.

4. Technically, I’ve never bungee-jumped, but I was bungee-pushed. The guys rigging jumpers that day were apparently on work-release. They asked me if I would take a seat while they made some adjustments, then commenced strapping me into the chair, insisting this would be way more fun than just leaping off the platform. I thought they were teasing, but they said, nope, just really bored and ready to mix things up a bit. Obviously, I protested—humorously, then valiantly, then litigiously. They laughed their heads off over the little blonde Pakeha tied to a feckin’ plastic lawn chair, then with a sadistic shove they hurled me backwards and upside down into the deepest canyon on Aotearoa. If it hadn’t been so much fun I’d have sued their asses into the next hemisphere.

5. I cannot recall my most embarrassing moment, only that I had one so horrific that I do remember praying, “Please dear God block this from my memory.”

6. I love sneaking into movies—even partial movies—after only paying for the first one. My record is a half-dozen in a row at the Edwards 21 Cinema Multiplex in Boise, Idaho. My eager accomplice Janet and I have ever-after referred to this with a wicked grin as having Edward six times in one day.

7. I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die*.
*This is the trivia question I always use at Mixers…no one ever guesses it’s me. Please don’t tell 😉
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And I like your blogs very much, so I hope everyone who isn’t already waiting with OCD-intensity for your next posting will follow all the cool things you’re doing at:
Julius at: http://notesonwords.wordpress.com/

Alastair’s Blog at: http://kattermonran.com/2013/04/08/shine-on-my-friends/

The Peckish Kiwi at: http://thepeckishkiwi.com/2013/04/17/versatile-blogger-award/

Sabina Khan at: http://realmofthegoddess.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/versatile-blogger-award/